Today i wanted to talk about how to come home to yourself. I've struggled with codependency for most of my adult relationships and it has taken me years of work to learn how to come home to myself and become the love I've kept searching for.
As the great ascended master Jesus once said - “the kingdom of heaven is within”, so all the riches, love and friendship we seek is within us. There is an abundance of joy and love and it all resides in you. I once believed happiness was found outside of me in the form of relationships and material things in approval and validation from others which are all nice but that's not where happiness comes from. From an early age we are conditioned to believe we are not good enough, pretty enough or worthy. We are programmed by the schools we attend, our teachers, pupils and our society, T.V, media and the people we love the most our parents. It's a generational loop and gets passed down to everyone, that we just are not good enough.
My parents were emotionally unavailable and I learned that my emotions aren't safe and feelings are something to hide. I suffered from repressed emotions for a long time and it led me to become susceptible to very unhealthy relationships with very sociopathic individuals. Because I couldn't see the darkness in me, I chose to be with emotional and mentally unstable men in order for me to heal that darkness within them and to avoid the actual work of healing the wounding, shame and darkness within myself.
What I've had to teach myself is that emotions are a normal part of the our human nature and the best thing for us is to sit with the uncomfortable emotions that come up and feel into them just observe, cry or scream or whatever comes up, its ok. You dont need to suppress just feel them, that is how they will flow through you and eventually out through you. Once I feel ready I simply hand them over to the Divine, I say a simple prayer - “I call upon the Divine to release these feelings of shame/ anger/ sadness ect. (just say the emotions you feel). They are now lovingly lifted, transmuted and transformed through the power of the Divine. I am now free and open to receive loving and energizing feelings and emotions. I now welcome beautiful emotions of joy, love, hope, faith ect. (just say which emotions you wish). I AM in balance. I AM in control. Thank You, Spirit/God/Divine/Goddess ect. And SO IT IS.”
I've also learned to value myself and this comes from getting to know yourself. What are your values? What are your passions? What do you enjoy? What makes you happy? What are your goals? What do you cherish? What are your pet peeves? Ect. And realizing that my value is inherent and I was born worthy and perfect, nothing adds or takes away from my value as a human person, as a soul and as the Divine Spirit which flows through me and through the whole of creation and cosmos.
The Great Master Jesus also said “ Love thy neighbor as yourself”, because they are yourself everything is you reflected back to you. There is no separateness in creation, it just seems that way from our human point of view. So do not judge others at all cost, make it a habit of never judging because to the same extend you judge others is the same that you will judge yourself.
Never abandon yourself to please others, listen to your intuition if something feels off, then it is. Never ignore your intuition, it's subtle but you can feel it. It is the little feeling in you, or in your stomach it's the little voice that says no, it's the uncomfortable feeling you get. Always speak your truth. Stand up for yourself, never ignore your needs, never hold back your truth, advocate your needs always! or you'll just be taken advantage of.
Be authentic, be free, you are beautiful and the world needs all of you! Silence the inner critic that voice in your mind that tells you 're too much or that you cant do it, that you're not smart enough or pretty enough or thin enough tell it to shut up and pep talk yourself instead give yourself affirming and loving words instead. Ask yourself what she/he needs, like what will make you happy and then do that. If you want to go to the park for a walk, then go, if you want to rest then rest, if you want to dress up and wear your favorite jewelry or for me it’s the beautiful talismans I make!, then do it, take yourself to dinner, romanticize yourself. Listen to this voice that loves you and wants the best for you.
You are AMAZING, beautiful, you are free, you are bliss, you are pure, you are eternal. Its your own thoughts that get in the way, you get dragged down with the stories you tell yourself. So return to yourself that eternal beautiful loving you. Stop getting wrapped up in the thoughts and pulled around like a rag doll by emotions. Come home to your heart to the eternal now, you are the ETERNAL, you are the awareness and you are the now.
